Random Reflections

For the month of April, I decided to reflect every single day on one moment from my experience meeting and serving some of the most beautiful people. The small, daily reflections have made it easier for me to share pieces of my experience with others, but also to allow myself to process through things. I have been posting these reflections on one of my social media accounts, but I've decided to share some of them on here too. There is no flow from day to day, and typically that would bother me, but I think it's better that way. So without further ado, here are those random reflections...

I'll never forget the pride in her eyes each time she learned a new hand game. [04.04.16]

In March, my emotions were all over the place, with extreme joy and extreme frustration as the primary ones. I feel privileged to have been able to share in some of the joys and frustrations of the beautiful people I formed relationships with. [04.05.16]

A typical sight at the camp...a table of kids and me. Even though only two of these kids remain at the camp, I'm constantly thinking, "Who is playing Uno with them, who is paying attention to them, who is listening to them...?" I'm not there, but He is. God is there with them whether they know/believe/understand it or not. This reminder is the only way I can sleep at night. [04.06.16]

One day, I asked a young man, who I had started to build a relationship with, to tell me about his journey. He showed me video footage on his phone of his boat ride from Turkey to Greece. 

I had this feeling while watching, but I couldn't recognize it at first. Then, I realized that it was guilt. I felt guilty for watching something so intense and so seemingly personal, despite the fact that he shared it freely. 

I have no idea what these lovely people have been through, and I don't think I'll ever fully understand all of it. But I'm realizing that that's okay. What I can do is share their stories and my experience, like he shared his with me. And I will do just that. [04.07.16]

Not the most flattering photo, but I don't even care. These are two of "my boys" who made me smile every single day. 

It's so incredible to me how such a bond can be formed between people who don't share a language. Just the effort to communicate can go along way, even if it's not very successful. 

Smiles, hugs, hi-fives, endless games of Uno, watching soccer games...that's what I could do so that's what I did. [04.08.16]

Like coming to Romania, I felt such a peace about going to work with the refugees. I'd never met a refugee/person in this type of situation before. I don't think I'd ever sat down and talked with a Muslim. I had no "training" per se. 

And yet, it all felt so natural. It felt like something I was always meant to be doing. That doesn't mean it wasn't hard. It was. It still is. There were days when I went into the supply closet and cried. There are days now when I just sit on my bed and cry.

But I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. I will do it again in some capacity...already planning. [04.09.16]

I think about this young man every day. He is one of "my boys" that I mentioned the other day. He is kind, mature, a good friend, and caring towards others, but especially his family. He was one of the first faces I saw each morning as he came to get the food bags for his family. 

One morning, he wasn't acting like his usual self. I asked him if he was leaving that day, and he said yes. This usually confident and mature young man suddenly looked a lot younger. I can only imagine what was going through his mind as they prepared to continue on their journey.

His departure was hard. We hugged. I told him I'd miss him. The look in his eyes is one I'll never forget. I said goodbye to the rest of his family and watched as they walked towards the taxis parked at the gas station. And then I went into the supply closet and cried. I miss this boy and his sweet, smiling face so, so much. [04.10.16]

I almost made it through the day without crying, and then someone says a prayer for the refugees and I can't handle it. 

Yesterday, the police used tear gas on the refugees at the Greece-Macedonia border. This immediately makes me think of a group I refer to as my "tea party ladies". I helped bring tea to their room one time and ended up being invited in to drink tea and talk, but most listen, for about an hour. I had two tea parties while I was at the camp. 

One of the times, they told me about their journeys and how they too had experienced the tear gas at that same border. These women were so lovely and welcoming and kind...inviting me into their world so willingly. I can only hope that they are treated with dignity and respect as they continue on their journey. [04.11.16]

Today, I told my Romanian kids about my Syrian kids. My two worlds collided. Most of my Romanian kids listened intently as I told them about the refugees, and some asked questions about their homes, schools, journeys, etc. 

I can only hope that a seed was planted in their hearts to always see the best in others and to show love in all situations. [04.12.16]

Bleak, dreary, dismal, hopeless. This is how I would describe the camp as an outsider looking in. 

Hopeful, encouraging, beautiful, friendship. This is what I saw and felt as an insider in the camp. [04.13.16]

I watch this video every single day. These two boys hold such a special place in my heart, and were part of "my family" at the camp. 

The one of the left is hilarious and helpful. The one on the right is sweet, kind, and independent. 

They send me voice messages almost every day and it makes my heart burst. [04.14.16]

At the halfway point of these reflections, I'd like to share something extra special. This is my second favorite photo from my time in Serbia. 

These two are the other half of the children in "my family". She is as sweet as can be, and the best older sister to her baby brother. He is also the sweetest thing with such a calm and easygoing temperament. 

This family remains in Serbia, as one of the last families at the camp. I hope and pray that they are moved to a more stable environment as soon as possible. [04.15.16]

- - - - -

And there you have it. Half of the month's reflections. It's funny because no matter how much I share, I feel like I'll never even scratch the surface of truly saying how much this experience impacted me. 

So...how was it?

Camp in Croatia

Sitting here...with this blog post open...not knowing exactly what to write. How do I share such a life-changing, eye-opening, earth-shattering experience in a blog post? I think the answer that I need to accept is "I cannot". I'll write some thoughts now...and some thoughts later...and probably some thoughts in another year. That's what I can do.

My oh-so-patient Arabic teacher, and friend.

On Monday evenings, a bunch of ex-pats gather for what we call Monday Night Supper (MNS). I know I've blogged about this event before so I won't explain much further. This past Monday was my first full day back and my first MNS since we returned to Romania on Sunday evening. I was nervous about going and having to answer the overwhelming question of "so...how was it?" I shouldn't have been so nervous because this is a group of people who truly care and understand this type of work. I actually ended up being nervous because I knew I was being listened to so intently. It was silent around the table as I shared parts of my experience. I am thankful to have had MNS as my first experience of answering that overwhelming question.

These boys sat and talked about these drawings for at least a half hour.
This artwork hangs in the tent where we served tea and soup all day.

So how did I answer that overwhelming question...? Good question. I wish I had recorded myself because I answered it pretty well...and now I can't remember what I said. Typical. I know I used all of the cliche words like life-changing, eye-opening, challenging, amazing, frustrating, lovely, etc. Cliche or not, these are the words that I had/have at the moment.

As many of you know, I was sick with various ailments (bronchitis, pink eye, flu, cold, etc.) during our time in Croatia and Serbia. There were a lot of days when I went to the camp, came home, napped, ate supper, went to bed, woke up...repeat, which didn't allow me to process everything that I was experiencing. I was aware of this as I returned to Romania, but that hasn't made it any easier. I've already had some difficult moments since returning.

I think about the refugees, who I now call my friends, all day long. I miss them so much, so deeply, so unlike anything I've ever experienced before. These beautiful people gave me so much and taught me more about life, God, serving others, myself...than I ever expected.

Teaching the cup rhythm thing to two boys from "my family"

There are so many moments...faces...stories...conversations. I want to process them and share them you, but it's going to take time. I appreciate your patience. Please feel free to ask questions or email me or whatever. I want to talk about it. I love talking about it even though it's hard. Just know that I met some of the most beautiful, kind, resilient, courageous people. I served in the simplest ways at times, whether serving tea or sweeping crumbs off of the floor, but it was in those moments that I learned a lot.

Leading a train of kids around the camp on one of our first nice, spring days

I'm thankful to have found articles and quotes from others who have been able to put their thoughts and feelings into words. I hope their words will help you to get a better idea of how I feel since I don't have my own words just yet.

First and foremost, please watch THE VIDEO below. Nazarene Compassionate Ministries released it about a week ago. All of the images are from the two camps I worked at in Croatia and Serbia. It is so incredibly well done.

One of the two men who worked on that video also wrote a five-part photo essay, which is incredible. Again, all of the images and stories come from the two camps I worked at in Croatia and Serbia. Read each part here: PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5. As I posted these articles on Facebook, I shared some of the quotes that really moved me. Here is one more that I think is worth highlighting...

"I'm watching a group of people who, five years ago, lived much the same as we do in the west. A group of people who, five years ago, had careers, homes, bank accounts, hobbies, and plans for the weekend. A group of people with dreams for their future, and desires for their children's.

I think it's easy to separate ourselves from what's happening out here.

'They' are them and 'we' are us, and it's none of our business to redefine associations. But in all reality, we are human. We all have the same fears, and we all have the same insecurities, and we all have the same ability to feel anxious and feel pride, and elation, and bitterness, and inspiration, and loneliness, and we all get excited, and we all have beating hearts that require blood to move throughout our bodies. There's not a difference here.

So let's start seeing it as such.

And let's start responding as such."

From ANOTHER ARTICLE...

"Hope is hope when it seems impossible, when it takes a bit of faith to believe it's possible...

I'm beginning to think that, like hope, all virtues are true virtues only when they are really difficult. Hospitality is only truly hospitality when it's inconvenient. Courage is only courage when there is real fear involved. And love is truly love when it's hard...

And yet, from refugee to worker, and worker to refugee, there is love present. A hard love, a jagged love, one that shows its wear. It's why the embraces are so powerful and the tears so heavy. The chests heave with emotion, and the arms hold tighter than you would expect from a stranger.

Hospitality. Courage. Love.

They've been hard fought for here. And I'm understanding them better because of it."

The perfect day for jumping rope

2-8

Twenty-eight years old. Woah. When I was a teenager, my 28th birthday seemed like light years away. Actually, I know I never thought specifically about turning 28 when I was a teenager. I'm sure I thought about being 20, 25, 30, etc., but not 28. Either way, I know that teenage Casey had a totally different picture in her mind when she thought about being 28/almost 30. I can assure you that it involved a lot of stability...having a secure, well-paying job with a husband and a handful of kids. I used to want 12 kids. I still kind of do, but that's another story. Anyways, teenage Casey never could have imagined what was in store for her at 28 years old. Even if you told her what was in store, she never, never, ever would have believed you...and I think that's kind of lovely.

I think I mentioned this when I wrote my New Year's post, but I don't really do New Year's resolutions. Instead, I like to do a birthday list that I came across on a blog a few years ago. This blogger made a list of 22 things she wanted to do before she turned 23, or however old she was turning that year. The list had a few big goals/things to accomplish, but it consisted mostly of small goals, which is what I loved. I decided to give it a try and I've been doing it for probably 4-5 years now. I don't always accomplish everything on my list, but whatever I don't accomplish, I just add to the next year. I actually kind of forgot to write one last year. Well, I might have written one, but it must be at home somewhere. When I started to write my new one (28 before 29), I decided to back track a bit. I wrote one retrospectively for 27 before 28 and I am going to share it with you. I have this fun notebook (that I actually received on my 25th birthday) that allows me to create a digital copy of what I handwrite. It's pretty cool. So here's the list...

Did you think I was going to end it there?! No way! That would be like my shortest blog post ever. I will now highlight a few of these fun items...

1. It seems a little silly, but the donut ice cream sandwich was JUST SO GOOD. In celebration of a friend's birthday (Hi Erica!) a year ago, we took a trip to Chicago. We had heard about this donut ice cream sandwich phenomenon and it did not disappoint.

3. OBVIOUSLY, pursuing missions fully was a huge step in the right direction for me.  I cannot even begin to list all of the times when I feel like God has confirmed that this was the best choice.

4. I am so thankful for the time spent with my mom while I was home. Specifically, our pizza picnic in the car one evening. We got pizza, did some thrifting, and probably ended the night watching some episodes of Gilmore Girls.

9. Although learning a new language (Romanian) has been an immense challenge, I feel like it has really helped me to grow in unexpected ways. I have gained an ability and desire to share more with others, mostly in writing through my blog. I've also been able to connect with people in a different way...in English and Romanian, verbally and nonverbally, which is a pretty huge deal for me.

13. Standing in a field of sunflowers was something I had never thought I would do, or something I had even ever thought about. However, this was one of those moments where I felt such a peace about being in Romania. It was a moment I will never forget it.

18. When I was home for six weeks in summer 2015, I had a massive garage sale. It was soooo much work, but also an amazing display of my supporters...MY PEOPLE! I was able to sell some handmade Romanian items, spend time with family and friends, share my adventure with strangers, and so much more.

22. Flying back to Romania was so incredible. When I left, I knew I would return, but I had no idea how natural it would feel. My return felt like coming home, and I am so thankful for that feeling. Obviously, it's hard to be away from my original home, but Romania is definitely a second home.

26. I feel like I say this all of the time, but I love the Romanian children that I work with. I always enjoy the kids I work with, but these kids have totally and completely captured my heart in a way I could never have imagined.

27. Last, but not least, the peace. The infamous peace has made all of the difference in this adventure, but also in my 27th year of life.

Starting my 28th year in a foreign (well, not-so-foreign) country is something I truly could never have imagined. I am so excited to see where year 28 takes me. Here's to 28!

Rubber bands

Pre-Romania Casey...and some of the best pals!

I had no clue what photo to choose for this post because I don't exactly have a bunch of photos of rubber bands in my photo library. And to be clear...yes, this is a post about rubber bands. It'll make sense in a moment, I hope. I chose this photo for a few reasons. 1. This pre-Romania Casey hadn't the slightest clue what was in store for her. 2. We're stretching to point to Romania. Again, this will make more sense in a moment. 

On Friday (01.15.16), I led the staff devotion time at Veritas. Yes, you read that right. On Tuesday, Petra (executive director of Veritas) asked if I would be willing to lead devotions on Friday. Of course, my mind is said "no, no no", but what came out of my mouth..."sure!". Why does this happen? I literally opened my mouth to say "no", but instead, a "yes" came out. And then the freak out began...what on earth will I talk about?! I led the devotion time when I was here before, but it was a little easier. I just talked about how I came to be in Romania, which was a story that not all of the staff knew. But now what? What else do I have to talk about? I wanted it to be interactive so I wouldn't be doing all of the talking. I also wanted it to be personal. I wanted to challenge people. I wanted it to be somewhat original and creative rather than some random topic pulled off the internet. 

I decided to start by thinking of what I’ve been learning lately...and googled a few interactive devo ideas. As to be expected, most of the interactive ideas were geared toward youth with crazy games and such. This wasn't exactly what I had in mind for the Veritas staff. Not that they don't enjoy being silly (because they definitely do), but this wasn't the time. After skimming through some of the crazy games, I found a devotional on rubber bands. It seemed kind of odd, but it also seemed pretty perfect. It applied to me and I was hopeful that others would connect with it as well. 

To begin, I passed around a bag of rubber bands and asked everyone to take one. I announced that I was going to give a devotion on the topic of rubber bands. Much like I warned you at the beginning, I stated that I hope they would connect the dots as I spoke. I opened with the question, "what are rubber bands used for?. Obvious answers were given...they stretch to wrap around items, they expand to hold things, etc. Then I asked, "why are rubber bands good for such tasks?" More obvious answers...they are stretchy, flexible, strong, etc. Exactly. Rubber bands were meant to be stretched. That is how they reach their full potential. They are aren't very useful if they sit in a bag in the junk drawer. Do you see where I'm going with this?

I equated us, as people/Christians, to rubber bands. Sometimes, we are stretched. Being stretched usually comes with feelings of stress, tension, pressure, discomfort, etc., and yet, often times, positives come out of these stretching experiences. Dare I say that when God stretches us we are being used to our full potential...? When God stretches us, He is stretching us to be the person He created us to be. Much like rubber bands, we aren't very useful if we're living these cute and comfortable little lives, not allowing ourselves to be challenged. It can be hard to reflect or analyze (with a positive mindset) the ways in which we are being stretched in the present. However, it's easier to reflect back on ways in which we have been stretched in the past. 

Since I was giving this devotion at the beginning of January, I asked everyone to think about how God stretched them in 2015. I told them that I would be asking them to share, but first, I wanted to share about my own experience. Obviously, leaving my safe and comfortable home to come to Romania was the major stretch of 2015 in my life. I had a perfectly nice life before coming to Romania...no major complaints. I had (read: have) the best support system of family and friends. I had a full-time job using my college degrees. Life was good. However, I feel much more useful in Romania. I feel like I'm closer to reaching my full potential here...despite not entirely knowing what that full potential is. I feel like I'm being used in the way that God created me to be used. It is NOT all sunshine and rainbows. I am stretched on a daily basis, but I am becoming more flexible, versatile, efficient, strong, etc. 

To further illustrate the idea, I also used the example of a muscle. When a muscle is not stretched, it becomes inflexible, limited, ineffective, weak, atrophied, etc. These are not words that I want to describe my life, and especially not my spiritual life. I can honestly say that some of these words did describe my life/spiritual life before coming to Romania. I was often inflexible. My spiritual life was rather weak. Thankfully, the challenges that I've faced have helped me to grow.

I'm not sure how obvious the changes are to everyone else, but I see major changes. When I was home for 6 weeks this past summer, one of my friends commented on how much more laid-back I was compared to before leaving for Romania. For those who truly know me, "laid-back" is not one of the words that was next to my name in the dictionary prior to coming to Romania. I'd say that I was pretty uptight, and easily bent out of shape in various situations. Obviously, I'm not fully cured of that ailment, but I see major improvements. I've also been forced to deal with questions regarding my faith and what I truly believe. I'm asking questions that I wasn't asking before. I'm thinking about things differently. Again, not sunshine and rainbows, but I'm so very thankful for these thought provoking experiences.

I haven't the slightest clue what my life holds, especially in the next few years, but I am ready to continue to be stretched. I hope and pray that I can become more flexible, versatile, efficient, strong, etc. I want to be used in the way that God created me to be used. I want to fulfill my purpose in life, whatever that may be.

Thankfully, the somewhat silly rubber band topic, and maybe a little bit of what I shared about my own life, resonated with people. Quite a few people shared about how they feel they were stretched in 2015. Some were able to see the positive results of those stretching moments, while others are still in the middle of being stretched. Tears were shed. Smiles were shared. Encouraging words were spoken. It was quite lovely. 2015 has been a stretching and challenging for Veritas, but I am optimistic that greater things are yet to come. God is stretching us, as a staff, to bring us to our full potential.

I shared a number of verses throughout the devotional, but the one that has stuck in my mind is Matthew 12:13. It says, "Then he said to the man, 'Stretch out your hand.' So he stretched it out and it was completely restored, just as the other." When we allow ourselves to be stretched, to become stressed and uncomfortable, God will restore us. 

2016

from 2015 Best Nine on Instagram

Leave it to me to wait until mid-January to write a New Year's post. Typical. Well, Happy New Year! La mulți ani! My New Year's Eve was pretty low-key, but that's how I like it. At home, my favorite thing to do on NYE is to flip between the various TV specials. Turns out, Romania also has TV specials on NYE! I was a happy camper! I wrapped myself in a blanket on the couch and drank a cup of tea. It was splendid.

Fireworks are a big thing here on NYE. The city sets off fireworks up in the citadel, but there were multiple displays this year. And I could see a lot of them from my window! I opened the window and quietly watched for about 5 minutes. It was lovely. I don't usually do this, but I'm going to share something that I wrote in my journal on New Year's Day. Enjoy!

01.01.16
2016. A new year. A fresh start of sorts. As I stood at my window at midnight, watching the fireworks and hearing the bells, I felt truly happy. I caught myself smiling in that moment. Sure, I was alone, but I was not lonely. God is with me. I have made some incredible friends. My coworkers are so wonderful. I love the kids and teens that I work with. I have my family, my core group of friends, my #CBtakesRomania supporters. Standing at the window, I felt such a peace about where I am in life. I am where I am supposed to be. I think this is probably the first New Year when I'm not setting big goals to really change my life...because I don't really need to. Obviously, goal-setting is important, but I don't feel like that needs to be the focus of the New Year. I'm thankful. I want to focus on that. I want to set small goals that will improve where I am in life instead of things that will change where I'm at. I have no clue what 2016 will bring, and that's okay. I'm thankful for where I am and ready to see where He leads me. Here's to you, 2016!

From the YouVersion Bible app

Turkey Turkey Turkey Baklava Turkey

Rocks from the beach...and an adult coloring book from the airport in Turkey.

I started this post quite a long time ago and saved it. Care to know what I typed in the text box in order to save it? "Turkey Turkey Turkey Baklava Turkey". So if that tells you anything about what I did while in Turkey...just kidding, kind of. As usual, my posts regarding particular events are delayed. I'm sure you're all used to this by now. Nonetheless, thank you for your patience.

Neither of these photos are very good, but I wanted to show the flags.
They were on almost every building we passed on the way to the resort.

One of the two (terrible) photos I took of the actual conference. 

Breathtaking, to say the least.

I spent the first week of November in Turkey for the Nazarene Eurasia Regional Conference. This conference takes place every four years and gathers missionaries, volunteers, and other various folks from the Eurasia region. This region spans from Portugal to India, which makes it incredibly diverse. We had worship services together twice a day, as well as workshops on various topics. You can read more about the conference here. This description is better than anything I could attempt to write, in regards to the basic details.

The view from the balcony of my hotel room. 

There were about 640 people in attendance. An introvert's worst nightmare. I'll be totally honest...I was nervous about attending. As a nerd, I greatly enjoy conferences, hearing from others, and gaining new information. However, with conferences come social interactions, and I'm not the world's biggest fan of those most of the time. Thankfully, I roomed with someone I know, Roberta (who has been serving in Romania for 18 years), in a very nice room. The hotel resort was insanely beautiful. The staff were so friendly, and definitely had an eye for detail. The food options were endless and delicious. I actually ate a pomegranate for the first time...ever. Apparently I'm sheltered, but I don't even care. Now I know about the deliciousness of pomegranates and I'll never go back. I ate one almost every day for breakfast while I was there. I also ate a lot of baklava, as previously mentioned. They had a dessert area with many options, and there was always a little section with various types of baklava. I mean, I had to find my favorite, which I did, so I tried them all. Okay, enough about the food. I feel like I just wrote a review for this place...oops.

Not bad, not bad at all.

This changed every day...

We arrived the day before the conference began which was quite nice. The weather was fabulous...warm during the day for sitting at the beach and reading a book, but cool enough in the evening to wear a cardigan while sitting on the balcony and drinking a cup of tea. Perfection. I spent a lot of time reading, journaling, reflecting, etc. during my time in Turkey. It was a introvert's dream. Once the conference began, we had worship services twice a day with a time for workshops, small groups, and free time in between. I found the schedule to be quite nice. Enough time for conference-y things, but also enough time to enjoy being in Turkey! And now I'll overload you with a bunch of pictures of the beach and Eastern Mediterranean Sea. Not sorry.

If you look closely, you can see mountains in the distance. 

The beach...full of beautiful rocks and stones, rather than sand.

"She loved the sea. She liked the sharp salty smell of the air, and the vastness of the horizons bounded only by a vault of azure sky above. It made her feel small, but free as well." -George R. R. Martin

No words. Just look at it. 

So aside being stunned by the beauty of Turkey, I did actually learn a thing or two from the conference. The theme was Reconciliation, and we read from II Corinthians 5:14-21 at the beginning of every service. One thing that I loved about the services was that a different field was highlighted in one way or another during each service. There were videos for every field, and sometimes someone from that field would pray during the service, sing a special, preach, etc. It was nice to see and hear from so many different people...all doing incredible things in their field. The fields include: C.I.S. (Ukraine, Russia, Armenia, Kazakhstan, Moldova), Central Europe (my field!), Eastern Mediterranean, India, Northern Europe, South Asia, and Western Mediterranean.

I used to be obsessed with these in high school, always photographing them when I saw one.
Apparently, the obsession continues. I was also obsessed with telephone poles...another fun fact you probably didn't know.

As I've already mentioned, there were various workshops offered during the conference. The ones I attended were all very good, and very different. The first one was focused on human trafficking where we heard from three ladies who are working to fight trafficking (both through prevention and aftercare) in their fields. As the topic tends to be heavy, it was a difficult workshop, but also very good. We learned/reviewed facts about trafficking, but like I said, got to hear about what's being done within our region. There is an aftercare center in Bucharest, which I have yet to visit, but I loved hearing the stories from the work happening there. Click here to find out more about this ministry.

The second workshop I attended was related to personnel development on the field. It was informational and enjoyable. It got me thinking about different goals that I want to set for myself and my time in Romania. The third workshop I attended was called, "NCM: Holistic Development", which is something I feel very strongly about. As a social worker, I am a firm believer in empowering and educating people, and holistic development is one of the best ways to do that...Seeing the whole person and meeting them where they are at. Anyways, the man who presented in this workshop is from Bangladesh, which is where the holistic ministry is currently the most successful. He started by reading from Matthew 4:23 where it says that Jesus was preaching, teaching and healing a.k.a. holistic ministry. I could go on and on, but I won't. He talked about the Child Development Center (CDC) model, which focuses on education, nutrition, health, sports, spiritual needs. One of the things I wrote in my notes at the end of the workshop was, "what skills do I have?", which is something that I've really been thinking about. I know that God has brought me here for a reason, and I've been able to offer some of my skills during my time here, but I want to expand on this. I want to be used fully...using all of my skills and abilities to better serve others.

This has nothing to do with anything. Just a Turkish can of Sprite. 

Upon returning from Turkey, those of us from the Sighisoara Nazarene church were asked to speak about our time at the conference. Not my favorite pastime, as you know. I struggled to find something to share because I had SO MANY THINGS that I wanted to share. Seriously, what has happened to me? Most of my life, I've been at a loss for words, but since coming here it's been the opposite. Verbally, still a struggle, but sit me down in front of my journal or the computer and I could go on and on forever. I'm not complaining, just continuing to adjust. Annnnnyways, back to the point. I'll end this post with the two things that impacted me the most.

1. At the closing ceremony of the conference, we sang "Sing Alleluia to the Lord" in all of our various languages. I wish I could tell you how many languages were represented at the conference, but I do not know. Regardless, it was so incredible. So powerful. I feel like I got a tiny preview of what Heaven will be like. So many different people, languages, cultures, experiences, etc. coming together for worship. I had the goosebumps and spent most of the song just listening because it was just so magnificent. On the third day of the conference, we also sang "How Great Is Our God", which is a song that I greatly enjoy. We sang it in English, Russian, Italian, Arabic, German and French. Another incredible experience.

2. Just. Walk. Across. The. Room. For the first sermon, to introduce the topic of reconciliation, the speaker told the story of the Prodigal Son. He used the phrase "just walk across the room" to illustrate part of the message, specifically in Luke 15:20. The verse reads, "But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him." The point is, Jesus does this. He reconciles...while we are "still a long way off". He comes to us, meets us where we are, and embraces us.

At first, I didn't know why this message was sticking with me throughout the week of the conference. But after reflecting on it a bit, it started to make more sense. The thought of being a "missionary" kind of freaks me out. It's hard for me to even use that word to describe myself and what I do in Romania. Sometimes I get overwhelmed and feel like I'm not doing enough in my current position, but the thought of doing and being more...freaks me out. BUT! I can just walk across the room. I can reach out to people I know and show Jesus to them in our friendship. I can walk across the room to acquaintances and build better relationships to show them Jesus. I can approach people I don't know and meet them where they're at to show them Jesus. I can just walk across the room. It doesn't take much. It's a small step. And yeah, it might become a bigger step later, but I can start the process by just walking across the room. I can do this, missionary or not. (And so can you.)

In another service, a man who works with youth said the following, "Accept young people for who they are, not who we want them to be...and let God do the work". This hit me too. Related to walking across the room, and in other ways. I think it's very true for young people, but I also think it applies to everyone. To make the connection for you...I might walk across the room (to someone I know or someone new), show someone Jesus, and then realize that I can't be what this person needs (materially, health related, emotional, spiritual, etc). But that's the point, I'm not the person that he/she needs. I don't need to do the work...God will do the work. Maybe God will provide me with what they need (materially or otherwise), but initially, it doesn't need to concern me. I need to follow the promptings that I feel whether that be to smile at someone, start a conversation, volunteer to help at an event, learn a new skill to better serve others, etc. I need to listen, follow where I'm lead, and let God do the rest/work.

And before I go, here are two more photos for your viewing pleasure.

Apparently, this is how you spell my Turkish name. Airport coffee for the win!

This was not taken in Turkey. This is what I did as soon as I returned home to a much chillier Sighisoara. 

Currently: Romanian Edition Part IV

The morning of Christmas Eve...drinking coffee and re-reading an incredible book

Reading: I just started re-reading Kisses from Katie: A Story of Relentless Love and Redemption after my visit to two orphanages last week. Much like Jen Hatmaker's books, I have been underlining line after line. It's so interesting for me to be reading this book again after being in Romania. Although Katie's story is very different from mine, there are so many things that I can relate to. To very, very briefly summarize, Katie traveled to Uganda in December 2006 when she was 18 years old for a few weeks, and returned in the summer of 2007. She continues to live there (she's 26 now) with her 13 adopted daughters and helps to run a nonprofit organization, Amazima Ministries, that she started in 2008. For more details about her story and Amazima, I would strongly encourage you to click HERE.

In re-reading the book, here are a few parts that have really struck me. Lucky for you, I'm only a few chapters in to re-reading...

"Sometimes working in a Third World country makes me feel like I am emptying the ocean with an eyedropper...I have learned to be okay with this feeling because I have learned that I will not change the world. Jesus will do that. I can, however, change the world for one person."

"Through the frustrations, God taught me to laugh at myself, my ways of doing things, and what used to be important to me. He taught me that when doing my best was still not enough, that was when He took over; and because of His great grace and love, even in the frustrating moments I was filled with an inexplicable happiness and peace, my daily proof that I was living my purpose."

"The contradiction comes when I realize that all these experiences and emotions were real. The happiness that gave me chill bumps was as deep as my loneliness. My sense of certainty about being exactly where God wanted me was solid, but just as firm was the fact that I wondered at times what on earth I was doing here. The frustration that threatened to overtake me on some occasions was just as deep and true as the unbounded joy I felt at other times. I loved my new life; I truly loved it. But compared to the life I have been living, it was hard...Despite the obstacles, I felt a surprising level of comfort living in Uganda most of the time. I felt I was born to be there, and in many ways, living there seemed more natural than living in my native country. I had the unexplainable feeling, a settled knowing, that I was where I was made to be. I knew deep in my soul that I was home." 

GOOD stuff.

Eating: Clementines and oranges. I cannot get enough. Clementines are the best because they're little and easy to eat as a quick snack. However, I've started eating more oranges than I probably ever have. I always forget how much I love them. The messiness of oranges has always deterred me from eating them regularly. OCD alert ;) 

Also, I have been eating cozonac, which is a traditional Romanian sweet bread. Everyone here makes it for Christmas, as well as some other holidays. It is delicious! At the Veritas Kids' Club Christmas program, each of the families were given a loaf of cozonac and there were extras so I got to take one home! I was thinking about buying some at the store the other day, but I decided not to. I guess that was why! Anyways, I do not have a photo of cozonac so I got this one from Google...sorry!

Thinking about: What is in store for the new year. I can hardly believe that it's almost January 2016! I'm not one to make these grand New Year's resolutions, but I do like the idea of a fresh start (kind of like the beginning of a school year). I am going to try to set a few small goals, but nothing major...goals like trying to cook more often, possibly learning to play the piano, and making more time for reading and art journaling. I've also been thinking about how crazy it is that I'm almost halfway through this second round of #CBtakesRomania. While on FaceTime yesterday, my mom asked if it's harder being here longer this time, and it's really not. I had a small rough patch a few weeks ago, but things are going well. I continue to feel at home here in Sighisoara. I've made some incredible friends, LOVE the kids and teens I work with, and enjoy the other miscellaneous tasks I've picked up along the way.  

Listening: Christmas music! Spotify has some amazing Christmas playlists! I've been stuck on Folksy Christmas, A Classic Christmas, and even Christmas Pop...for the classics like "All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah and "Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays" by NSYNC.

Aside from Christmas music, I've been listening to Adele's 25 pretty consistently, as well as One Direction's new album, Made in the A.M. Yes, I am still a teenage girl sometimes. Take me or leave me! Spotify also has a Discover Weekly playlist, which updates every Monday morning. This playlist is based on what I have been listening too, as well as what similar fans are listening to. It's pretty amazing. My first playlist wasn't the greatest, but it's been improving. It's a fun way to discover new music, which I always love. 

Watching: As always, Gilmore Girls, but also, Christmas movies! I've decided to watch one Christmas movie every day this week. So far, I've watched The Holiday, The Family Stone, and Love, Actually. I watched Elf a few weeks ago. Some others on the list include Stepmom (a depressing Christmas movie, but one of my favs!), Home Alone, Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph, This Christmas, and a few others. We'll see what I have time for! 

Loving: Thinking about the future...as crazy as that may sound. I feel like God might be working on something for me, and I'm anxious and excited to see what happens with it. We shall see! 

Merry Christmas! Crăciun fericit!

I first saw the "Currently" feature on Sometimes Sweet, which is one my absolute favorite blogs. Just giving credit where credit is due.